Sweet Darling

I have a loving Mama. 

My Mama was a great economist, spending all the time thinking how to cut off our expenses. Yet she was far from stingy, her actions actually comes from her virtous heart that hate to waste rather to cut off expenses. She was also somestimes become a very credential lecturer, who gave us lecture all the time. Humanity lecture? Yes, she could. She told us about how people in Somalia didnt have any food when we in Malaysia having delicious meal every breakfast, lunch, dinner and just threw it away when we got full. She taught us to be a thankful servants by staying away from making waste. Yes, that she was. 

Religious lecture? Of course she might. I remember when I complained many things about my life in USM (including too many assignments to do, my roomate matter, my ill-laptop, missing home, etc), she asked me, ‘do you read alQuran every night, do you wake up to pray in early dawn?’. It was on Ramadhan. Starting from that night, every 4.45am, my phone was ringing, a call from her waking me up. She wont stop calling until she heard my voice. Oh, nowhere I should go but to the way she directed me. Such a perfect mom. 

An economist, a lecturer, then what else? Emm, ha, a plumber, a technician, a chef, a nutritionist, a farmer, and of course a father to me. 

Though how perfect was she to me, how ‘bestest’ she treated me, I, still have an evil. I made hurt in her heart. Malas, tak dengar cakap, merajuk, melawan – all those manner that she never taught me. Is it enough with the word ‘sorry’, ‘forgive me’? The word sorry is just too small with all my impious.

Just like the word ‘love’ is too little to figure my heart.

I miss her indeed. Really.